Bellingham by the Bay
by Bruce Bellingham

John Waters might best be known for helping Patty Hearst make the transition from the Symbionese Liberation Army to the Screen Actors Guild. You can just picture the so-called Prince of Perversity gushing to Patty, “You’re going out there a terrorist, and coming back a star!” So he put her in a few of his movies. John’s coming to town this month with a live show, John Waters Gets Filthy, at the Castro Theatre, Monday, Oct. 6. at 7:30 p.m. … It was back in 1972 when a chap gave me two tickets to see Cleo Laine sing at the Masonic Auditorium. I pretended I knew who she was. Of course, I never forgot her. I saw her again, last month, at the Rrazz Room at the Hotel Nikko with her wonderful husband, John Dankworth, still grand and great after all these years. They turned the room into a chapel for the music of Ellington and Basie. …

It was a quiet transition, but The Bargain Bank on Polk Street is no longer The Bargain Bank. No, it was not absorbed by a larger financial institution. The name is now Spencer & Daniels – a little more style, I guess. The owner is still Daniel Kahn. … McTeague’s has finally opened on Polk & Pine. The saloon is an homage to the Frank Norris character that was at the center of the Erich von Stroheim silent film, Greed, which was actually filmed on Polk Street in 1924. There’s a film for the time, if there ever was one. … There was quite a party at the Clift to mark the 75th anniversary of the Redwood Room. Mayor Newsom appeared with his tall, charming bride, Jennifer, and she practically stole the show. Absinthe was served, so a few of us were willing to sell our furniture and move to Paris by the end of the evening – but I often feel that way. … By the way, the new popularity of absinthe has rekindled new interest in Barnaby Conrad III’s wonderful 1997 book, Absinthe, all about “the Green Fairy,” which is what they called the murky concoction in absinthe-drinking circles.

How are the locals faring in these ghastly times? They’re hanging in and hanging on. The market has been falling flat, but Earl Darny’s cakes continue to rise at his Lotta’s Bakery on Polk Street. “The price of eggs and sugar keeps going up, but people are friendly and my customers are loyal,” Earl reports cheerily. … People from all over the world are still lining up for the seafood at Swan Oyster Depot, a landmark on Polk and California. This is where you can meet visitors from Norway to Novato ... Speaking of Novato, Swan’s co-owner Steve Sancimino reports that his local paper, The Novato Advance, has been saved from closing, and will continue serving the good people of Novato. …

The Black Horse London Pub, on Union and Van Ness, has got to be one of the smallest saloons in San Francisco with the smallest TV for the smallest football games. But their spirits loom large. The pub’s Scott Lieberman has the right idea: No cell phones here. We want people to face each other and talk. Yes, talk. Just like they used to do in pubs in the old days.” … Barman Richard Kuttner may keep the football games on the TVs at Kimo’s, but Richard’s not really a jock: “I can tell you what a fullback is,” he deadpans. “That’s two half-backs.” … I’ll be taking the back door. No problem. …

Bruce Bellingham is a desperate man. He always needs something, like reassurance, redemption, guidance … and yes, items for this column. Help him out, please, at bruce@northsidesf.com.