The Hungry Palate
Where's the beef?
By Susan Dyer Reynolds

Spending summers with my Sicilian grandfather in Rhode Island, I learned that if you were going to eat the beast, you had to eat the whole beast. “In America people only want the filet,” he would espouse, “but that disrespects the animal.” True to his word, Grandpa Lorenzo ate every bit of whatever he brought home from his butcher friend in Federal Hill. As a kid, I didn’t really like the smell of tripe in the morning, but I understood that throwing it away was indeed disrespectful to a creature that gave its life for our dinner table.

For about three years, prior to becoming a full-time food writer, I was a vegetarian. I didn’t do it for health reasons; I did it because I loved animals and felt I was a hypocrite eating them but not really knowing (or wanting to know) how they got on my plate. One afternoon, as I was chowing down on a Portobello burger at BurgerMeister, I glanced around and noted that I was the only person not eating meat. As much as I liked my giant mushroom on a bun, I was definitely not saving a cow.

This was during the early days of the gourmet burger, and BurgerMeister was one of only a handful of small burger places serving Niman Ranch, which buys its meat from family farmers and ranchers using humane, sustainable practices. As I came out of my bubble and realized that no matter how many burgers I skipped, animals would still be on the food chain, I also saw a way to at least promote dignity and humane treatment of farm animals. In my early days as a food writer, I penned stories about the evils of factory farming. I did a story on Mad Cow when it first surfaced in the U.S., and about the connection between the disease and “downed cattle” – cows too sick to walk to slaughter, so workers would forklift them to their deaths. As animal rights groups joined forces with journalists to create awareness, lawmakers took notice and temporarily banned the practice. (Bill S. 394 & H.R. 661, “The Downed Animal and Food Safety Protection Act,” which would permanently ban the practice and enact into law the immediate and humane euthanasia of sick and injured animals, is still pending.)

Recently, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals obtained undercover video of pigs being horribly abused at MowMar farms. The media picked up the story and the changes were immediate: MowMar, which purchased the farm from an Iowa company just a month prior, said they would not tolerate inhumane treatment and plans to work with PETA to fire the employees involved and set policies, including visits from animal handling experts and setting up video surveillance.

Every time I hear a story like this about a factory farm, it makes me work harder to educate others about the good people out there like Doug Prather, who has a stand at the Ferry Building. Prather Ranch is, in my opinion, the gold standard. Prather can trace the origins of every steer back to the 1970s; they were the first in the country to implement a certified humane slaughter facility, and they are a very small producer. Of course, the meat is more expensive and less available (for example, they couldn’t keep up with demand from a large restaurant), but savvy carnivores and boutique chefs, like Ryan Scott of Mission Beach Cafe, know that no other beef compares. “It’s worth it, plain and simple,” Scott says as he prepares to offer a Prather brisket as a special that night. “And people who try it understand that right away.”

While I am a carnivore on the job, I still prefer to eat vegetarian on my days off. I love legumes and tofu and fresh, seasonal vegetables. And, while I ate so many Portobello burgers in my vegetarian days that you could chase me with one now, I still enjoy the occasional veggie burger. For me, a veggie burger doesn’t have to make you forget there’s no meat in it because, let’s face it, that’s not going to happen. I decided, since this is our “Animal Heroes” issue, to munch my way through the City’s veggie burgers – over the last month and a half, I’ve eaten over 20 versions. Here, from my tenth to my first favorite are my top veggie burger picks:

BurgerMeister – $8.75/$9.50 with cheese
138 Church Street (at Market), 415-437-2874, www.burgermeistersf.com

Kudos for BurgerMeister for being groundbreakers way back when – not only were they among the first small hamburger shops to serve Niman Ranch beef, they were also one of the first to offer a Boca option. Although Boca comes closest to a meat burger of any national brand in taste and texture, the vegan patty can be dry as sawdust. Serving it on a dry wheat bun doesn’t help. The other problem with Boca is that there are almost no recognizable ingredients on the label except water, soy protein, wheat gluten, onions, and sesame oil – the rest rhyme with disodium inosinate. BurgerMeister also serves a Gardenburger, which is a little less dry and has more recognizable ingredients (mushrooms, onions, brown rice, rolled oats, a blend of mozzarella and cheddar cheese, parsley and a hint of garlic) but doesn’t have that almost burger taste and texture. What really lost it for the Meister, though, was the wilted lettuce – over three visits at various times of the day, the lettuce seemed as if it had been left out next to the stove. At $9.50 with a few fries and cheese, it’s also one of the more expensive options in the non-linen napkin class, and cheese should not be optional on a Boca or Gardenburger – it’s necessary to add some flavor and moisture. As our resident grillmeister the “Kitchenless Cook” likes to say, “Fat is flavor.” When you’re dealing with a 99 percent fat-free veggie burger, it needs the cheese.

Burger Joint – $7.95
807 Valencia Street (at 19th Street),
415-824-3494, cash only, www.burgerjointsf.com

I learned after my BurgerMeister experience – when you see Gardenburger or Boca, sub the bun. At Burger Joint I asked for the regular sesame seed variety to avoid the possible wheat bun cardboard factor. Like BurgerMeister, they serve it like their classic burgers with mayo, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickles, and a side of fries. The Gardenburger was less dry than BurgerMeister’s and far less dry than the Boca. It also comes with cheese, all for $7.95. The lettuce was crisp and cool, and overall, it worked.

Lucky Penny – $6.30/$6.80 with cheese
2670 Geary Blvd. (at Masonic), 415-921-0836

Our favorite 24-hour diner next to the traffic-clogging parking lot of Trader Joe’s was the only place we found serving my favorite of the national brands, Morningstar Farms veggie patty, a blend of carrots, mushrooms, red and green bell peppers, black olives, brown rice, and rolled oats. They serve it like they serve their beef burgers, Gargantuan and sloppy, with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and a dollop of mayo. It was the only veggie burger juicy enough to drip down my arm, a result of the ripe tomato and tons of mayo and ketchup. Served on a toasted sesame seed bun with a thick slice of melted cheddar and your choice of potato salad, coleslaw, or French fries for a mere $6.80, Lucky Penny also takes our “Way to Go Wall Street” award for the best place to chow down a veggie burger while your mutual funds duck for cover.

Johnny Rockets – $5.30/$5.70 with cheese
2201 Chestnut Street (at Scott), 415-931-6258, www.johnnyrockets.com

Johnny Rockets is one of the most underrated burgers in town, and it turns out there veggie version rocks, too. They offer a Boca burger at no additional charge, but they use the Boca Original, which is not as dry as the vegan (and the one I use at home). They slide it onto a warm, griddled bun (you can opt for wheat as well) and top it with LTO (lettuce, tomato, onions), cheddar cheese, and a terrific, tangy special sauce. They offer 13 varieties so if you want to get crazy and top that Boca with barbecue sauce and onion rings, feel free.

Lettus – $9 to $11
3352 Steiner Street (at Chestnut), 415-931-2777, www.lettusorganic.com

The winner of our 2006 “Best of Food & Wine” award for best hunk of non-meat, Lettus was a bit of a disappointment. Maybe the price tag ($11 with cheese) or the lackluster service (they have yet to get my order right) tainted my view, but the Lettus burger wasn’t as good as I remembered it. I have always complained about the way-too-thick wheat bun – you could slice the top in half, add another patty, and make it a veggie Big Mac. I’ve always recommended ordering it on grilled sourdough with avocado and white cheddar, and I was thrilled to see they added that version to the menu, dubbed the California. All Lettus burgers come with lettuce, tomato, garlic aioli, and grilled onions (I’m not a fan so I leave them off). The vegan burger itself is one of my favorites, made in-house from lentils, mushrooms, cashews, bulgar wheat, and beets, which give it that unique red velvet cake color.

Barney’s – $6.25 to $7.50
3344 Steiner Street (at Chestnut), 415-563-0307, www.barneyshamburgers.com

Barney’s gets its garden burgers from a small local company that uses a variety of vegetables including carrots, corn and soy. (They also offer Wildwood organic tofu.) We had a production meeting in their charming garden and everyone ordered a different kind – there are nine to choose from, including teriyaki, Milano (roasted eggplant and zucchini), Caribbean (with jerk sauce), and North Beach (sautéed mushrooms and artichoke hearts). The burger itself was moist and full of fresh vegetable bits, but it held together well. The wheat bun was softer than most, but I still opted for the sesame seed classic with cheddar, red onions, lettuce, tomato and pickles.

Ananda Fuara ­– $6.75
1298 Market Street (at 9th St.), 415-621-1994, www.anandafuara.com

It’s no surprise that one of San Francisco’s best loved vegetarian restaurants rounds out the top three. Ananda Fuara’s award-winning burger is a blend of fresh vegetables, grains, and selected herbs, topped with grilled onions and served on a 9-grain sprouted organic bun. It’s vegan, but they were happy to add mayo and sharp white cheddar cheese. Even my skeptical friend Ryan, a carnivore supreme who doesn’t even like sushi, enjoyed it. I left off the grilled onions (again, not a fan, unless they’re slathered over perogies), but the burger is full of flavor without it. This veggie burger doesn’t try to masquerade as beef, it stands proudly on its own two green, leafy feet.

Herbivore – $9.50
531 Divisadero (at Fell), 415-885-7133, www.herbivorerestaurant.com

Another San Francisco vegetarian restaurant comes in at number two. I love the entire menu at Herbivore (the crispy tacos with soy protein, beans, tofu cheese, and guacamole are addictive) and plan to eat my way through it one of these days. Their homemade burger, a mixture of veggies, grains and soy protein, is topped with LTO and pickles on a fluffy French bun that is just the right thickness.

Houston’s – $15
1800 Montgomery Street (at Embarcadero), 415-392 9280, www.houstons.com

Okay Alanis Morissette, listen up: it isn’t ironic if it rains on your wedding day, but it is ironic that the best veggie burger we found is at a restaurant famous for serving tons of meat. That’s right, Houston’s – home of steaks, ribs, and, in my opinion, San Francisco’s top sandwich, the prime rib French dip – takes first place. Houston’s takes their veggie burger as seriously as their beef burger, grinding it fresh daily and cooking it on the grill. A combination of brown rice, black beans and oat bran is enhanced with sweet soy and gooey Jack cheese. The smoky flavor is cooled by the freshest LTO of the bunch, and it’s all served up on a house-baked bun that blew away the competition. At $15, it is the most expensive, but it’s also the most satisfying. Choose from French fries, couscous, coleslaw, or seasonal veggies on the side. Go with the Brussels sprouts, sautéed to tender perfection, but tell them to leave out the sugar. (The cooks toss some in to tone down the bitterness, but sugar on Brussels sprouts is for wimps.)

Email: susan@northsidesf.com

For information on how you can help to get “The Downed Animal and Food Safety Protection Act” enacted, visit https://community.hsus.org/campaign/2007_downed_animals3.