Bellingham by the Bay
by Bruce Bellingham

Much of the talk around Nob Hill revolves around the reported sale of the Mark Hopkins Hotel. The staffers are nervous – as most staffers everywhere are these days – and the inevitable word “layoffs” has been whispered in the neighborhood. … The Octavia Lounge, one of the few venues for live cabaret, is now closed and undergoing remodeling by the new owners. This has caused the cancellation of Open Call, a show-in-progress produced by Lua Hadar and Linda Kosut. They’re looking for a new venue. “The owners of the Octavia Lounge, Larry Metzger and Patrick O’Connor, are still part owners of the club,” reports Lua. “I hear they might bring in a D.J., but are considering keeping live music as part of the programming.” …

Stu Smith was a regular patron of Delessio’s Market across the street from the Octavia Lounge, at Valencia & Market, until he saw the sign in the window last month announcing a 50 percent price hike on their prepared foods. Stu started an angry e-mail campaign in protest. … Dorothy Hearst was amused to hear that Ringo Starr will toss out all fan mail that he gets from now on. “I’ll take some of Ringo’s for him,” the quick-witted Dorothy declaims. “Getting fan mail can be a little terrifying,” says Rita Moreno, who lives in the East Bay. “It’s unnerving when people send it to my house, and I have no idea how they find my exact address.” You might recall that scene from the 1964 Beatles’ film A Hard Day’s Night, a Ringo-coined phrase where Ringo got the lion’s share of the Beatles’ fan mail. I guess it never stopped. …

Speaking of movies, a very cool event this month at the Jewish Community Center: an evening of San Francisco film noir with Eddie Muller, the local Czar of Noir and Miguel Pendás, creative director of the S.F. Film Festival, Nov. 11 at 7 p.m. They talk about movies that were shot here in town and clips from The Maltese Falcon … Dark Passage … Lady from Shanghai … Born to Kill … and others. At five bucks a pop, it’s a steal. Good murkiness for tough times. …

They call him “The Boss of the Sauce.” That’s Joseph Manzare. Right. Not Joe the Plumber but Joe the Winner, who took top prize last year. On Sunday, Nov. 2, noon–5 p.m., chefs will face each other in “The Boss of the Sauce” competition. The battle for the best-made tomato-based sauce will take place in the Church Hall (lower level) at Sts. Peter and Paul Church, 666 Filbert Street on Washington Square. Last year’s winner, Joseph Manzare, will be on hand to compete again. Manzare has opened Joey & Eddie’s in North Beach on Washington Square in the space that was formerly Moose’s. Sunday’s event benefits FIERI, a nonprofit devoted to promoting Italian culture. Admission is $20 per person, and tickets are available at the door and online at www.bossofthesauce.org/sanfrancisco …

I was always amused by the church’s address, you know, 666, and all that …
Lorna K. is back singing at the Hotel Rex on Sutter and Mason on Nov. 21 from 6:15 to 8:15 p.m. She was there on Halloween and cast a good hex on all at the Rex. … The estimable San Francisco Academy Orchestra performs at Calvary Presbyterian Church, Fillmore and Jackson, at 6:15 p.m. on Nov. 9. … Kathy Garver – she played Cissy on the Family Affair TV show all those years ago – and Barry Barsamian have begun a new weekly cable show called Backstage! With Barry & Kathy on Comcast Channel 29 on Mondays at 5:30 p.m. …

Comedian Renée Taylor – yes, The Nanny’s mother – was all set to come to S.F. for a fundraiser (just like a politician except she doesn’t take the money when she leaves). She had to beg off. Renée and her husband, Joe Bologna, are in the middle of selling their house that they had for 40 years in Beverly Hills. It’s listed at $5 million, but there’s not much of a house left. It’s been “gutted to the studs.” That’s a real fixer-upper. Renée always has a good story. The Home and Garden cable network wants her to do a reality show about selling the house. She’s considering it, but Joe refuses to cooperate. “Joe thinks no amount of money is worth the humiliation,” says Renée. “I’m willing to make a fool out of myself for free.” … Renée also is kicking around an idea for a show called “An Evening without Joe Bologna.” Maybe Joe could call in. She remains the eternal optimist. “We’re still looking for a place to live, but I consider it an adventure. It will have a happy ending, one way or another.” …

I wonder if the election will have a happy ending. Not bloody likely. But always looking on the bright side is Mary Goodnature – yes, that’s her name – who’s running for supervisor in the 11th district (that’s the Outer Mission). Her rules for campaigning: “There will be no arguing or protesting, yelling or banner waving,” Mary reassures. “Just flowers, food and fun.” … Has anyone asked Sarah Palin about the situation in Freedonia? Forgive me, but there’s not much time to make fun of her. I hope. The joke could be on me. One way or the other, we won’t be rid of her, I fear. She’ll be hosting Romper Room in no time. Poor kids. … Mr. Blackwell died last month at the age of 86. His passing reminded me of another great fashion critic, the late Count Marco of the S.F. Chronicle. Marco kvetched to me while he was in the hospital for the last time: “Mr. Blackwell stole my idea for the Ten Worst-Dressed Women. He knew about the worst-dressed women. He dressed them.” Those fellows knew how to carry a cudgel to the very end. … Mr. Blackwell had the same partner for 60 years. How dare anyone not call that a marriage? …

There must be a good reason that I’ve been watching the Marx Brothers’ classic Duck Soup over and over again lately:

Rufus T. Firefly [to Trentino]: Now, how about lending this country $20 million, you old skinflint?

Ambassador Trentino: $20 million is a lot of money. I’d have to take that up with my minister of finance.

Rufus T. Firefly: Well, in the meantime, could you let me have $12 until payday?
Ambassador Trentino: $12?

Rufus T. Firefly: Don’t be scared, you’ll get it back. I’ll give you my personal note for 90 days. If it isn’t paid by then, you can … keep the note. …

Rod McKuen has mulled this over: “Can you imagine what a personal note for $12 signed by Rufus T. Firefly would go for at Sotheby’s, or even eBay these days?”

The Marx Brothers and Rod McKuen always get the last word. And we’ll leave it at that. …

Bruce Bellingham is also a columnist for the Marina Times. We do not recommend that anyone accept a personal note of any kind from him.